Yes, I’ve been absent for a long time. It’s a long story. Let’s just pretend it didn’t happen, if you don’t mind.

There are many many North Beach Ways left to ponder. 

To wit, I have never in my entire 70 years seen a place with as many different speed limits as the North Beach of Grays Harbor County. I mean it’s kind of weirdly remarkable. Let me walk—or rather drive—you through it.

Let’s say we’re driving from home to the Quinault Beach Resort and Casino in Ocean Shores, a distance of 14 miles. Would you believe that we will encounter not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4, not 5, not 6, not 7, not 8…..but 9 DIFFERENT SPEED LIMITS IN THAT DISTANCE. I am not even kidding. Several of them appear multiple times. I even got Ric to drive me along so I could take notes and pictures and show you on a map to back up my claim with data and graphics.

So let’s head down the road and check it out. 

On the street where we live, and all surrounding streets, the speed limit is 10 miles per hour. That’s because the place is designed for safety, especially for pedestrians and bicyclists. It’s actually a good experience for the auto driver to encounter. Because nearly every place we motorists go is designed for the convenience and unencumbered travel of the private auto, we inevitably develop an expectation that we deserve to be king of the roads. Our vehicles have loud horns we can use when we perceive anyone getting in our way, which I think makes us think it is indeed “our way.” The problem, of course, is that nobody outside the protection of tons of metal has a chance and will not survive direct full speed encounters. Which has a rather chilling effect on alternative travel modes. Here, in our little magical world, the streets are designed to deliberately slow down autos. Not only with a reduced speed limit, but with streets so narrow that cars often have to stop and wait for oncoming traffic to pass. And it really works, Here, bicyclists and pedestrians  act like they own the place, often occupying the center of the streets, moving at their own deliberate space. Cars are expected to stop and wait patiently. Believe me, it is a different world here. I really really like living in this world. It kinds of reminds us to slow the f**k down in all aspects of life.

But I digress. Back to what I’m writing about..

When we get to where the 10 mph street joins Highway 109, the speed limit is 25 mph. And there are flashing lights to remind you, with crosswalks and even flags one can wave to get a driver’s attention. There’s a lot of pedestrian traffic here because across the highway is the Pacific Ocean and the marvelous Mocrocks Beach. Since this speed reduction came with the appearance of the 10 mph town, some who lived in the area before seem to really resent it and get mad and yell at you (I.e. me) if you (I.e. me) slow down to follow the law. Maybe we should make the limit 10 mph rather than 25 to give them something to really get mad about? OMG did I really just say that?!??

After doing 25 for a ways, the limit goes up to 40 mph. Go a little further and the speed limit rises to 50 mph. But mind you that almost right away the road has a bunch of back to back to back really sharp curves, so 50 is just an abstract concept at this point. The road does straighten out after a while, then we get to Copalis Beach, where the limit drops to 30 mph. Here the road has a couple of 90 degree turns so you’d have to slow down anyway. Which brings me to another point about local roads and highways… I’ve never seen so many 90 degree turns on highways and state/interstate routes in my life. Maybe these roads were constructed before eminent domain happened? Because I feel like most places seized land to make the roads straighter? I dunno, maybe there’s a master’s thesis there?

Anyway, I see I just did another digression. I’ll try to stop doing that.

Okay, back up to 50 mph until we get to Ocean City, where we drop to 35. Back up to 50, then 55 for a very brief time before slowing to 45 mph near Hogan’s Corner. I wonder why they bothered with the 55?? Any side road off the highway takes you down to 20 mph.

Turning right onto Highway 115, we get back up to 50 until we get to the road that turns into the casino… where the limit drops to 21 mph. I assumed it was to remind people that the drinking and gambling age is 21, but Ric pointed out that he’s pretty sure it refers to blackjack, where 21 is the goal. I’ll defer to him on this one as he’s the designated gaming guru in the family.

I was so puzzled and curious about this dizzying array of speed limits, I wondered if we were being punked. I mean, what if somebody in traffic engineering decided to make these 14 miles a kind of game of psychological torture and there is a drone above watching us go faster then slower, then faster, then even faster, then even slower until we can’t take it anymore and just drive into the ocean or hear a siren and see flashing blue lights in the rear view mirror. Like a conspiracy to bring in more traffic fine income when we make the unavoidable slip.

Now I realize I’m probably just paranoid because our car is so old it doesn’t have any kind of dashboard graphic system or GPS because it hadn’t been invented yet. I couldn’t believe my lying eyes when I was riding with a friend with a new car and her tv like monitor built into the dash showed the actual speed limit on the screen!! Whose brilliant idea was this? There has to be a global conspiracy to take away all our excuses. No more “But officer, I didn’t see that sign, the one 40 yards back said 50, I didn’t even have time to slow to 25 even if I had seen the second sign.” Of course I’m kidding because as I mentioned earlier, I’m convinced I’m the only person in Grays Harbor County who actually limits herself to the posted speeds and I’m sorry to all you good people who hate that about me and keep honking at me and passing angrily on blind corners and all.

So I stopped in to the county highway department in Montesano (the county seat) one day and started asking questions. I had the great good fortune of talking with a wonderful engineer who had answers. 

She explained that no, we aren’t being punked. A lot of thought and data goes into setting speed limits. Since Highway 109 is a state highway, the county doesn’t control the speed limits there, that’s a state agency matter. And here’s what I found about speed limits in Washington.

State law (RCW 46.61.400) sets the state’s basic speed law and the maximum speed limits for all public roads and streets. The maximum speeds can be lowered when “supported by an engineering and traffic investigation.” The most common study determines what speed 85 out of 100 motorists naturally drive based on the assumption that “reasonable drivers will consider roadway and roadside conditions when selecting travel speeds.” Other factors include:

• Roadway characteristics, shoulder condition, grade, alignment and sight distance
• Roadside development and lighting
• Collision rates and traffic volume trends
• to name a few

But all these traffic studies and investigations and speed limits and signs and so forth aren’t always enough in the real world. Sometimes people have to take matters into their own hands, in the form of a wooden board and a chisel, as seen in the 30 mph zone in Moclips.